Demons of MS

Suffocating

A demon of MS has come to visit,
.
relentless fatigue wrapping its

ugly tendrils around my body

like bindweed, strangling, suffocating.
.
It appears to have brought its suitcase along;

I guess it will be sharing my room.

Perhaps if I refuse to feed it

it will go away.

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12 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ina
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 10:46:24

    A very good poem! You do metaphor very well 🙂

    Love and hug
    Ina

    Reply

  2. journeyintopoetry
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 12:37:42

    Thank you Ina!

    Love and a hug to you too xx

    Reply

  3. Dean KLYM8xx
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 14:47:22

    Really Good 🙂
    i was lost in the story…………dont know big words BUT it was Great…..the tendrals winding its way round…thats spot on how it feels………A MEGA V SCONE AND CONSERVE AND COFFEE FOR BREKKIE TOMORROW 🙂
    (((((((HUGS 4U)))))))))) XXXXX

    Reply

  4. journeyintopoetry
    Aug 18, 2011 @ 16:03:22

    Thank you Dean!
    A Mega scone sounds good even if it is a virtual one!

    (((HUGS)))
    to you too

    xx

    Reply

  5. tikarmavodicka
    Aug 23, 2011 @ 01:24:48

    Hi Christine,

    Your poem really bought out an empathy in me.Your metaphors for myself really made it . Maybe because I struggle with fatigue myself it helps but through your words I felt like I was able to feel a little of what you are experiancing.
    I thought this a really good poem. 🙂

    ((hugs))
    Tikarma
    xx

    Reply

  6. journeyintopoetry
    Aug 23, 2011 @ 09:42:44

    Thank you Tikarma.

    As I keep saying I am only a beginner but it is great to be able to do something with how I feel and the poetry fills that space.

    Love and (((hugs)))

    Christine x

    Reply

  7. gonecycling
    Aug 23, 2011 @ 16:32:26

    Oh, this is great. That metaphor is spot-on, and the whole piece shows a lovely lightness of touch. It was about time this wonderful work saw the light of day – big kudos and thanks for choosing to share it with us.

    Reply

  8. journeyintopoetry
    Aug 23, 2011 @ 16:56:49

    Thank you so much! It feels really weird having people comment, but I think I can get used to it!

    Christine x

    Reply

  9. Harry Nicholson
    Oct 11, 2011 @ 19:56:41

    The metaphors are full – this has the strength that poetry needs. You could try a version without ‘MS’ named as such, and see where it goes – it might become more universal.

    Reply

  10. journeyintopoetry
    Oct 12, 2011 @ 11:07:13

    Thank you Harry.

    Coincidentally I was talking to someone else recently about the word “universal” relating to poetry, and I will have a look at this; thank you.

    However, if I do manage to make a more universal version of this, it is important for me to keep this one, as it was intended as a very personal poem for myself if that makes sense.

    Christine

    Reply

  11. jesusdiedandlives
    Nov 23, 2014 @ 23:09:14

    How beautifully written! How the mind knows! The feeding of MS – you know, you know! The toxin that causes MS is in our processed food and personal care products! Please see lists of products to avoid at http://jesusdiedandlives.wordpress.com You can heal and pray this demon away!

    Reply

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