Befriending a Four-wheeled Enemy
It stands, redundant, in the hallway;
I’ve been looking at it for weeks,
its incongruence, its blackness.
But I suppose if you really needed
to use one, the seat could be quite
handy, plus the shopping basket on
the front and, of course, walking
without falling could be a
significant point in favour.
But it smacks so of disability,
infirmity, ageing, inviting
strange looks from other
people, requiring “parking”
in cafes etc, not to mention the
self-conscious image I’ve always
presented, designer heels,
jeans just a touch too long,
to lengthen the walk.
And yet the deep violet velvety
blossom that I noticed from the
car window yesterday, in a
garden at the top of the road,
cries longingly to be caressed,
and I ache to touch it.
*********
I wrote this 2 weeks ago and after
taking myself and “it” for a short
stroll this morning, it felt
appropriate t post it!
journeyintopoetry 
Apr 26, 2012 @ 11:15:49
Bon courage Christine!
Apr 26, 2012 @ 14:16:43
Thank you very much Lea! š
Christine
Apr 26, 2012 @ 11:21:44
š Hi Christine
this is wonderful, you manage to point out exactly how it is to get depending on “ĆÆt”
with the wit you let always shine through! Amazing how you find the right words to make this moving and funny at the same time.
I don’t think “it” will make you look any less the Christine you are, but
designer heels… maybe designer flats?
I love the end, your longing to touch the blossom. Such a symbloic desire! And now you can again, so I am happy for you that “it’ has come to your life to help out!
(maybe paint “it” red?)
Love and hugs xx and I hope the weather will allow you to have many strolls!
Apr 26, 2012 @ 11:22:38
symbolic I mean š
Apr 26, 2012 @ 14:30:35
I quite like it the other way :):) xx
Apr 26, 2012 @ 14:20:20
Thank you Ina!
Designer flats are the answer definitely!!
I thought about red but my daughter said black looks “cooler” so I may go along with that but it will be decorated with all sorts until everyone “out there” thinks I am totally mad! (Maybe I am ! LOL:))
Love and hugs xx
Apr 26, 2012 @ 12:17:24
Christine, you touch my heart to tears and smiles with your acknowledging & embracing of life poetry. It is pure, honest, and real and carries with it beautiful healing energy. I just love it. You, your voice, and your writing are a blessing of Creation. Wishing you peace, joy, designer flats (red- with some yellow flowers maybe?!), and an intimate encounter with your beloved violet blossom. Much love & appreciation, Angela
Apr 26, 2012 @ 14:26:19
Thank you Angela!
Yes I think the designer flats with flowers sound good – I will start googling!
The blossom was beautiful and almost made me sneeze, I inhaled it so much! LOL š
I think the beauty of all things in nature has become so much more emphasised for me since I have had to slow down and I have time to “look” and “see” properly. I could have missed so much in my “busyness”!!:)
Much love to you
Christine xx
Apr 26, 2012 @ 12:24:36
This is stunningly good, Christine. Love the style, so natural and honest – superb.
Apr 26, 2012 @ 14:27:24
Thank you so much David; this is a lovely comment and much appreciated.
Christine
Apr 26, 2012 @ 12:59:32
Christine, I empahise with this COMPLETELY … well done
Apr 26, 2012 @ 14:29:37
Tom, thank you!
Empathy is a wonderful phenomenon; it helps us to know and understand that we are not alone even if often we feel we are.
Christine
Apr 26, 2012 @ 17:10:44
Christine, if you are able to touch the blossom, enjoy the moment. I thought you were talking about a ride on scooter… May you touch many blossoms, and enjoy gentle walks….. Lots of lovexxx
Apr 26, 2012 @ 17:17:46
Thank you very much Susan.
I expect I will eventually need a scooter but I think I have quite some time yet before that. The rollator is breaking me in fairly gently to, at least, the concept of needing assistance, against which for many months now, I have balked.
But it is good to know that when I am out and about on my own I won’t fall! I have done plenty of that already and ended up with black eyes and bruises everywhere!LOL:)
Lots of love to you too xx
Apr 26, 2012 @ 17:27:49
What a wonderful poem, Christine. I too can emphathise. I’m not at that stage yet but last year succumbed to getting a ‘disability’ pass for a convention I have gone to for several years and although I hated the fact I needed it, it made my life so much better and enjoyable because I wasn’t in as much pain.
I’m glad you were able to enjoy the blossom close up.
Apr 27, 2012 @ 13:38:17
Thank you so much for this lovely comment.
I think our pride gets in the way to begin with and there’s nothing wrong with that. I think it’s called being human! But then the desire for a better and easier life outweighs the vanity.:) That’s how it’s been for me.
My first obstacle was a blue “disabled” badge for parking the car. It took me ages to realise that my life would be so much more simple and as for other people being aware of my badge, they were all too busy getting on with their own lives to bother bout my disability requirements! LOL š
My good wishes to you
Christine
Apr 26, 2012 @ 20:05:23
It is so difficult to come to grips with the changes life brings our way at times. You’ve done such a great job of illuminating that kind of universal problem with a focus on your own personal battle. Brave, honest, and well-written, Christine.
Apr 27, 2012 @ 13:39:19
Thank you Emma,
This is a lovely heartfelt comment and is much appreciated
Christine
Apr 26, 2012 @ 21:17:07
Wonderful to see you, and this, Christine–I was missing you!! I hope you’ll share a photo of your decorated designer flats with us–I’m imagining them Terrific!! God bless you today, and always. Love, Caddo
Apr 27, 2012 @ 13:41:25
Thank you Caddo!
I have been in the throes of a whole lot of hospital appointments!
You will definitely be kept up to date re the shoe progress!!:)
Much Love
Christine
Apr 26, 2012 @ 23:25:36
“designer heels,
jeans just a touch too long,
to lengthen the walk.” – I so love this Christine, it’s got an honesty about it, but coloured with fun, too. š Wonderful poem!
Apr 27, 2012 @ 13:42:27
Thank you Eve,
This is a lovely comment from someone whose work I admire greatly.
Christine
Apr 27, 2012 @ 04:02:08
I remember what you once posted as a comment on our blog — it was about how the frailty of our bodies can’t justify the fire in our souls. We’re all forever young at heart, Christine, and that’s what matters most! š
Love the stark honesty of this poem.
Apr 27, 2012 @ 13:44:22
Thank you so much BS.
I will always be young at heart no matter what happens to me! As long as I can keep that youth childlike rather than childish! :):)
Christine
Apr 27, 2012 @ 10:28:38
Beautiful, poignant writing, Christine. You express with your heart so open and vivid with feeling that I, and all readers are able to feel not only for, but with you. The last two lines are exquisite and touched me deeply. Definitely struck a deep chord….”cries longingly to be caressed,and I ache to touch it.” All love to you, Linda
Apr 27, 2012 @ 13:46:06
Thank you so much Linda.
It’s amazing what strength and courage we find when we really want something so very much.
Christine
Apr 27, 2012 @ 16:30:14
Beautiful and you explained the feelings well in your words. “I ache to touch it” got me choked up.
Apr 30, 2012 @ 14:30:36
Thank you for this lovely comment:)
Apr 28, 2012 @ 01:17:52
As ever, Christine, I admire the way you tackle sensitive subjects. I have a condition myself, though it effects me in differing ways – I have a significant visual impairment and I recognised in your careful words the reluctance to be seen with anything that labels as a person who is perceived by some as being “different”.
I admire your courage and your writing both. x
Apr 30, 2012 @ 14:33:21
Thank you Holly; this is a heartfelt comment and it’s so good when we can truly empathise with one another, which I think can only really occur when we have been or are going through similar difficulties.
I still “hate” my blue parking badge even though I get great places when the rest of the place is full!! š
Apr 29, 2012 @ 01:18:47
Christine, this is so wonderfully sensitive and helps us all to be “there” with you. And I too want updates on the designer flats! It doesn’t matter our “vehicle” for getting around – what matters is the great spirit within, which you so bravely exude. Love and hugs to you!
Apr 30, 2012 @ 14:35:09
Thank you Betty very much.
And I promise updates on the designer flats and maybe even a picture!! š (And a poem??!!:) )
Christine
Apr 29, 2012 @ 16:54:13
Christine, I, too, loved your honesty and your last verse tugged at my heart. Your spirit and bravery shine through clearly. Blessings to you~
Lauren
Apr 30, 2012 @ 14:36:37
Thank you so much for this lovely comment.
The trip with “it” was so worth it to touch that blossom:)
Christine
Apr 29, 2012 @ 20:22:07
Hi Christine! This is so stark in its subject and lyrical in its poetry, as you speak of the reality of your physical struggle but also from your heart that is larger than all of that–expressing how a flower still begs you to come close. It made me think that there are many things in life that while they seem to confine/restrict us actually give us freedom.
And I think you need some color in those designer flats (I like Angela Marie’s suggestion) and a swing of you head that says you are all that you ever were…and much more! Love and hugs! Diane
Apr 30, 2012 @ 14:41:27
Thank you so much Diane!
I am already practicing your suggested swing of the head – I really like that :):)
I know I am still the person I always was but it’s so easy to feel “less than” somehow with a disability and it is kind words and positive affirmations from wonderful friends like yourself that help me so much to remember that I am still me! :):)
Lots of love and (((HUGS)))
Christine
Apr 29, 2012 @ 20:25:26
There’s so much I love about your writing, Christine: your honesty, your courage, your wry sense of humour, your gutsy refusal to be beaten…and this piece has all of them in spades. It’s wonderful; that last stanza is a killer. Beautifully done. And I know the blossom will have been worth it; it always is. N.xx
Apr 30, 2012 @ 14:43:52
Thank you very much Nick for your warm comment.
And yes, the blossom was totally worth it. As you so rightly say “it always is”. I inhaled it for so long it made me sneeze š
Christine xx
May 02, 2012 @ 15:54:11
Your courage shines through in this honest poem. Perfect description of the feeling, Christine. People seem to look at you in another way, or maybe that is in our mind because we ourselves make that link with the thoughts. I have saved mine in case I need it again, and promised to pimp it when that time comes around again .Go for it girl , you have plenty of courage to walk with “it” in jeans and designer flats..and look the outside world straight in the eyes. For the blossom is your reward!
hugs, Francina xxx
May 05, 2012 @ 19:21:01
Thank you Francina. This is a wonderful comment and I really appreciate it.
Love
Christine
May 05, 2012 @ 15:01:48
Dear Christine, did you get to touch that deep violet velvety blossom? Much better to go out with “it” than deny yourself those pleasures! You do,girl!
May 05, 2012 @ 19:25:19
Yes I did touch it Rose! It wa gorgeous, just as soft as it appeared from a distance.
I think the pain of not doing things is now greater than my pride so watch this space!! š
Much love
Christine
May 16, 2012 @ 02:44:47
Disability is much overrated as an excuse, Christine. Pride is a much better excuse. My brother Gary is in the hospital tonight in real trouble. I am hoping he pulls through. When we were young I was the one considered “handicapped.” But the truth is that I wore the leg braces and casts and all the rest of it and forced myself to run when I could not run, and I’ve made a great life for myself and I hope for my family. My brother Gary, on the other hand, has gotten worse and worse year by year: Too much alcohol is primarily to blame, but also an insidious cringing inside that he has tried, but has not been able to outgrow. He is a great person in many ways, but his handicap has got the best of him while mine have let me lead a good, active life.
Your spirit is such that you’ll be able to sit in that chair and still be who you are in spite of all the indignity it might seem to try to throw on you. It is who you are as a person that counts. You already know that. The rest of it is an overrated excuse that neither of us really needs. Let the world look. It does not matter that much. In a hundred and fifty years the individuals with glancing eyes and big eyes and eyes that start won’t mean much anyway. Eh?
May 16, 2012 @ 10:23:31
Thank you Thomas! This is a great comment and has given me much encouragement too!
I have used my rollator a lot since this poem and I feel so much more in control of my life. And yes, you are so right in your last sentence, it made me smile š
I do hope your treatment is going well and you are on the road to yet another recovery in life š
With my very best wishes to you and Ethel
Christine